A simplified method into self-honesty

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Coming soon in 2026!

WHAT MOVES ME FIRST?

To be human is no easy feat. And I have yet to meet anyone for whom “easy” is a birthright. I am not going to say that suffering builds character, because I have met far too many examples to the contrary. Not everything can be comforted, and often it is best not to, but better to realize that you can face one thing at a time. Expect no more and no less of yourself, especially in tough times. To “get to the other side” is less about solving an issue or becoming stronger, but simply allowing yourself to see what arises as it arises so that a monster doesn’t begin to grow in the darkness and rear its ugly head at a later date.

It is natural that on an emotional level, we have a short attention span. It is for this reason that we maintain a tight rein on emotional probing. A full Truthing session is 12 minutes long, and even when it may feel unfinished, stopping at 12 minutes is crucial.  It is a common misconception that pushing yourself beyond your limits creates strength. Even in weight lifting, when you push past your physical limits, the first things to go are your posture, breath, and control. This tension raises pressure that inhibits flow and function. This is the same on an emotional level. Just think of a child who has been overstimulated: a nap would be far superior to more stimulation, which will likely lead to a breakdown. Sleeping on it is not only restful, but it also furthers flow and function. Much like physical repair, when you enter a new Truthing session on a new day, it does not resume where the last one left off. 

​“What moves me first?” is truly a question that does not uncover your thoughts, but your present state. Your present state includes your physical, emotional, and energetic capacity. What do I mean by this? What you have energy for is not only what you can handle, but what will build strength. If you are exhausted from a long workday, have not yet eaten, and you come home to your spouse who wants to discuss a matter of importance, what is the likelihood that it will be resolved? The physical, emotional, and energetic capacity is running on empty. Take a shower, eat something nutritious, and, most importantly, schedule that discussion at the earliest time when your capacity has been replenished. Circumstances are rarely ideal, so may this be a guiding principle. What you have energy for fosters strength, and what you push beyond your limits grows tension. When your energy is in limited supply, it indicates one of two things: either there is a leak in one or more areas of your life, or an old story and pattern predetermines the flow and function of your energy. A leak can be anything from working a job you hate to having a body overwhelmed with toxins. Whereas a story and pattern is either passed down unconsciously or the result of a significant life event that was not properly processed. 

-— an excerpt

The best place to start is at the beginning. Physical energy is an active input, assimilation, and utilization. This is within every adult human’s personal responsibility. When there is an acute leakage, the issue and its subsequent solution are more obvious. If, on the other hand, there is a prolonged leakage, its origin reveals itself as part of a story. It is astounding what power a story can hold to the point that it can interfere with, or even threaten, how we attend to our needs. Lives can very literally be cut short when a story overtakes our own inner intelligence. And here is the real kicker, most of us won’t know it. 

For example, take a person who has grown up with an insecure parent. This was expressed through avoidance of conflict, pressure to adhere to a particular set of behaviours, and a greater emphasis on appearances. Every person in a family is connected to the group “dynamic,” just as every action has an equal and opposite reaction; the same holds true within relationships. The influence of family is great. Now, what is the equal and opposite reaction of the child to the behaviour of the insecure parent? This can manifest in numerous ways that all originate from the same unmet need: Security. From a child's perspective, it can go something like this: “I would rather create conflict, so I can control it,” “I would rather create my own identity than be like my parents,” “I want to be perfect, so that I won’t be insecure.” Now, to stay true to those self-promises requires a lot of energy. Here lies the discrepancy between what you think you need and what you truly need. The story overrides the individual.

​Whoever controls the narrative has the power to influence individuals. This is most obvious on a societal level. Those with influence in the media, the internet, and moral persuasion create a dimension of collective manipulation, also known as “groupthink.” This is not enforced by those hands, as much as it is perpetuated by peers. It’s the “crabs in a bucket” mentality, where when one tries to climb up, the others pull him back down. And suddenly, “We’re all in this together.” A favourite from the Communist playbook.

​But here comes the real question. How can you tell when you’ve been had? First, ask yourself this: Is there a possibility that you’ve been lied to? And if there is, what are the chances that it was for “your own good”? When could that apply? For children. But are you a child? If your spouse hid a devastating financial loss for “your own good,” is that justifiable in some cases? What is the difference between being lied to and willful ignorance? In other words, do you want to know the truth? And this is a question best answered personally, rather than theoretically. From “the population” to you. When I still worked with people one-on-one, and a situation would arise such as the potential of a cheating spouse, or a health concern, when I asked “would you really want to know?” some would say “I’m too scared,” others would make excuses, and there would be far more hopes and fears than straight-forward, yesses, or nos. It is for no one to judge what your true answer is, and often what I have found is that, like with anything, begin small. And no matter what, approach yourself with gentleness. 

​In today’s world, to keep your own counsel has become rare. We are more often encouraged to communicate, express, and share our woes than to keep our innermost thoughts private. I neither advocate for a tell-all mentality nor secrecy. However, privacy is paramount for Truthing. That does not mean the issue remains private; it means that, while you see, feel, and face what is knocking at your door, you keep yourself free from outside opinions, judgments, or advice, and from inner worries about what anyone else might think or react. Much like creating your own recipe, having other cooks in the kitchen can hinder your process and skew the outcome. This does not apply to everything, so use your own discernment. With time and experience, the attunement and understanding of yourself is a force to be reckoned with. This developed skill of listening to yourself translates to a refined perspective towards others and the world. 

​Can you be lied to? Yes, and with time and sensing, discrepancies become noticeable. “I want to know the truth” is the prerequisite to this. 

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Maya Doytchinova is a self-proclaimed non-expert whose lack of formal education gives her the freedom to question what is standard and see what is, as it is. Her work is a clear testament to a universal conundrum with a personal solution.