A simplified method into self-honesty

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Coming soon in 2026!

WHAT MOVES ME FIRST?

To be human is no easy feat. And I've yet to meet anyone for whom life is inherently easy. I won't claim that suffering builds character, as I've seen many instances where it doesn't. Not every discomfort can be soothed, nor should it be. It’s better to realize that you can face one thing at a time. Expect no more and no less of yourself, especially during tough times. 

To ‘get to the other side’ is not so much about solving an issue or becoming stronger, but rather about allowing yourself to see what arises as it does. This way, a monster doesn’t begin to grow in the darkness and rear its ugly head at a later date.

Emotionally, humans tend to have short attention spans. This is why we keep a tight leash on emotional probing. A full Truthing session lasts twelve minutes, and even if it feels incomplete, stopping at this point is essential.

It is a misconception that pushing past your limits builds strength. Just as with weight lifting, when you move past your physical limits, the first things to go are your posture, breath, and control. This tension raises pressure that inhibits flow and function. The same happens on an emotional level. Just think of a child who has been overstimulated; a nap would be far superior to more stimulation, which might lead to a meltdown. To ‘sleep on it’ is not only restful, but it furthers flow and function. Each new day brings a fresh perspective to Truthing, independent of the previous session’s end.

“What moves me first?” is a question that reveals not your thoughts, but your current state. This state encompasses your physical, emotional, and energetic capacity. What do I mean by this? What you have energy for is what you can handle and what builds strength.

If you are exhausted from a long workday, have not yet eaten, and you come home to your spouse who wants to discuss a matter of importance, what is the likelihood that it will be resolved? Your physical, emotional, and energetic capacity is running on empty. Take a shower, eat something nutritious, and most importantly, schedule that discussion at the soonest available time that your capacity has been replenished. 

Circumstances are rarely ideal, so let this be a guiding principle: What you have energy for fosters strength, and what you push beyond your limits grows tension. When your energy is in limited supply, it indicates one of two things: either there is a leakage in one or more areas of your life, or there is an old story and pattern that predetermines the flow and function of your energy. 

A leak can be anything from working a job you hate to having a body overwhelmed with toxins. In contrast, a story or pattern is either unconsciously passed down or results from a significant life event that was not properly processed.

-— an excerpt

The best place to start is at the beginning. Physical energy involves active input, assimilation, and utilization. Every adult is responsible for managing this for themselves. When there's a sudden loss of energy, identifying and addressing the issue tends to be straightforward. However, if this energy drain is ongoing, it may be rooted in a deeper, more complex narrative. Stories have a powerful influence on our lives and can sometimes distract us from or even jeopardize our basic needs. In extreme cases, when a narrative overpowers our innate wisdom, it can literally cut a life short. And even worse, you wouldn't know it.  

Take, for example, a child with an insecure parent who avoids conflict and prioritizes appearances. Every person in a family is connected to the group dynamic. Just as every action has an equal and opposite reaction, so does this occur within relationships. The influence of family is significant. So, what is the equal and opposite reaction of a child to the behaviour of an insecure parent? This can manifest in numerous ways, all stemming from the same unmet need: security.

The child’s reactions—such as seeking control through conflict or striving for perfection—consume energy. The energy needed to uphold these behaviours highlights the gap between perceived and true needs, where the story overrides the individual.

Whoever controls the narrative has the power to influence individuals. This is evident on a societal level. Those who have hands within the media, the internet, and moral persuasion create a dimension of collective manipulation that can foster “groupthink.” This is not enforced by those in authority as much as it is perpetuated by peers. It’s akin to the “crabs in a bucket” mentality, where, when one tries to climb up, the others pull them back down. Suddenly, it becomes, “We’re all in this together,” a favourite from the Communist playbook.

Here comes the real question: How can you tell when you’ve been had? First, ask yourself this: Is there a possibility that you’ve been lied to? And if there is, what are the chances that it was for “your own good”?

When could that apply? For children, perhaps. But are you a child? If your spouse hid a devastating financial loss for “your own good,” is that justifiable in some cases? What is the difference between being lied to and wilful ignorance? In other words, do you want to know the truth?

This is a question best answered personally, rather than theoretically. It shifts the focus from “the population” to you. When I worked with people one-on-one, situations would arise, such as the possibility of a cheating spouse or a health concern. When I asked, “Would you really want to know?” Some would say, “I’m too scared,” others would make excuses, and there were far more hopes and fears than straightforward yeses or nos. No one can judge what your true answer is, and often, what I have found is that, like with anything, it’s best to start small. No matter what, approach yourself with gentleness.

In today’s world, keeping your own counsel has become rare.  We are more often encouraged to communicate, express, and share our woes than to keep our innermost thoughts private. I neither advocate for a tell-all mentality nor secrecy. However, privacy is paramount for Truthing. This does not mean that the issue must remain private. Still, while you are seeing, feeling, and facing what is knocking at your door, it is important to remain free from outside opinions, judgments, or advice, as well as from inner worries about what others might think or how they might react. 

Much like crafting your own recipe, having other cooks in the kitchen can disrupt your process and skew the outcome. This isn't applicable to every situation, so use your own judgment. With time and experience, the attunement and understanding of yourself becomes a force to be reckoned with. This developed skill of listening to yourself translates into a refined perspective towards others and the world. 

Can you be deceived? Yes, and with time and skill, discrepancies become noticeable. “I want to know the truth” is the prerequisite for honing this skill.

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Maya Doytchinova, a self-proclaimed non-expert, leverages her lack of formal education to freely question established norms and see what is – as it is. With a background in multidisciplinary holistic therapies and over seven years of client practice, she questions, observes, and discerns the distinctions between truth, theory, and narrative. Her work is a clear testament to a universal conundrum with a personal solution.